Wednesday, September 1, 2010

one for dallas.. coming out of a fairly low low

When I was young and still connected to my mother by an umbilical cord, I lived in the warm moist intestinal walls of her womb. After a short-lived seven and a half months, the voice of what we are told is “God” spoke to me.

It said the following:

“Hello Mark Pizzi! I am going to show you a slideshow of your life! From conception to the last image burned into your retinas! Well what am I waiting for let’s just fucking watch it!”

I stared emotionless at my life being put on display in front of my underdeveloped green eyes. I wasn’t old enough to comprehend anything back then, but as I got older, everything started to make sense; I got déjà vu a grandiose amount throughout my life. Once I mastered the English language well enough that I could explain myself, I would always tell people dear to me about how I have seen my end. I would explain to them, I’m wearing all black, walking up the steps to the library at the college I would attend in the future, and then I see a girl in a black dress, and that’s it. Everything ends there. People would think I’m crazy, I very well could be crazy, but my saneness was proven to myself once the only college I got accepted at, had a library that was more than reminiscent of the one in my never fading envision of my death.

“Well Mark, or can I call you, Lil’ Pizzi? Based on having seen your entire life. You know.. What I just showed you.. Mark Pizzi takes on the world, from start to finish. Would you like to be stillborn… or just a born baby? Or would you rather be born, but die really soon after conception from a lack of oxygen? I would personally choose that one; I heard you get super fucked up right before you die... plus, you get to have the pleasure of being conceived! Anyways, It’s about the time where I have to cause a holy war or something.. so what will it be, Lil’ Pizzi?

I muttered some incoherent baby talk about nothing understandable.

“What was that? I didn’t hear you!” All creation exclaimed

And out I came, seven and a half months young with a hole in my heart. Prematurely brought into a world I wish I had nothing to do with. I’ve come to believe that fulfilled wishes are just coincidence. I was still born, a vulnerable baby who just kind of explodes one day. I just really hope no one touches me.

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